When I was young,on some summer nights, I slept on the terrace with my brothers and sister….fighting for the best spot to sleep, the newest pillow with the fluffiest fiber (which for some reason, will always not be more than one or two at a time. In a family of 8, there was never a time when all pillows will be replaced at the same time). After the initial excitement, everyone will settle down and after a few minutes, you could hear even the neighbours snore. I, for some reason, was always a night person. And after everyone slept, I was still lying there, wide awake, wondering where I will go, what will I do. And sometimes, i would simply appreciate the beauty of the night, the sky full of stars, looking like the most beautiful girl in the world, showing off her sparkling wedding dress.
Gazing at the sky, makes you feel so small…as if you are the tiniest part of the universe….lying down on that temporary bed there, with nothing but myself was so satisfying…..(luckily terraces dont have distracting rich furniture assuring you to be everything you’re not)……I would gaze at it for hours sometimes, not even feeling a blink. In the quietness of the night and breadth of the horizon, I saw some of my simplest dreams, made some of the silliest wishes and felt some of the deepest emotions. In those nights, I wasnt all that I wanted to be, I didnt have the riches and the cools and the spectacles…but I had a self, that was free and fearless. I had a heart, full of dreams, and a belief, that they will all come true.
As life went by, the stars in the night kept disappearing. Its almost like the more you move towards life, the more you go away from it. And today, I am in a big city, a big car, a big paycheck, I may have all the riches. But I cant find a sky, full of stars. And I wonder, when was I richer, then or now….